Needy and pitiful

I’m so sad
I try not to be
But it creeps up on me
When I’m alone
In the car or at home
No money to spend
No one’s available to friend
To fill the gaps of solitude
I’m responsible for my own happiness
I should get up, take a walk
Raise up my own endorphins
But I can’t
I just cry
Cuz I’m sore from the climb
and the cramps wringing my insides
I just cry because I’m alone and I can.
I feel sorry for myself and I cry for the little girl I still am
I cry for all the mistakes
The unidentified claims and demands
I cry for the things I should have done
and the words I could have said
I cry for the courage to communicate all of this to him directly
Face the issue and hash it out. Use my own skills to help me
I pray for separation of power
within the woman, wife, counselor, mother, sister, daughter that I am
and that she can navigate through a dark ocean of pain with integrity, openness, and love

gratitude

it is so easy to dwell on one’s own troubles. They are never ending, there is always a stressor waiting around a corner.

However, I choose to send out a message of gratitude for the women in my life that bring a smile to my face, offer an ear, show up when they say they will, and always answer when I need them to.