That was today? 

The kind of day that’s split and off kilter 

My morning broken down at home, where all I did was work.

To school I go to work. 

The homicidal and suicidal words spoken by the youth I hear impresses upon me in an eternal way. 

Anger, pain, anxiousness, and sadness are handed to me in pieces as I attempt to help the babies put their puzzles back together

There’s a sick kid I must lay my own eyes, hands, and voice upon at home.

I need emotional support that I feel none of them are strong enough to give. 

Off I go to be a master. 

I cry in the car when suddenly, there’s a Jeep Wrangler blazing in flames on the side of the road. 

The universe placed me in Group Counseling class this night and I shared that there was no material thing I’d run back in the burning house for. 

And upon my return home, my two answered the same. 

Mo men ts 

I take their breath away 

They bare all their teeth for me

Bless me with heartfelt thoughts of kindness 

Share romance through profound poetry 

Go the extra mile 

Let me have it for free 

Ask for my prayers 

Longingly look into my eyes 

Steal a touch 

Provide a “hook up” 

Endings

dance theater closes

The boy has a fetish 

The girl has a boyfriend 

No babies left here

His future is unclear 

Her precarious age, troublesome, it is 

I’m feeling confident however

About myself for a change!

Finally this 33rd year 

Preoccupied, yes 

But reassured at the same time 

That experience 

Will do its job and teach us all 

The best way to get along 

Through love, laughs, and trust 

I hope and I pray 

This time of change

Will bring better days 

Reminiscing this Sunday

Stepped into a time machine
Looking for cd’s to listen to
While I clean my room
Remember listening to records and
Mix tapes
Smile and dance to my mad skills
Of selecting tunes to flow to
To daily function
Music is life
Never quite loud enough
Blasting through this afternoon
Actin like I could sing or something
Being grateful for my man and their dad
Love is in the air
And Soul II Soul
Brings me back to life
Release …
I Accept love and the sunny day

IMG_7392

Critical conversation

It’s a book someone read
A term I picked up
Anxiety builds up
Kiddie gloves I endure for you
do not soothe my nerves
As they are not for my benefit
I’ve finally come to the place where I draw the line
You are inconsiderate
Inconsistent
Irresponsible
Unrealistic
And you’re not my problem
I’m not responsible for you
I don’t owe you anything
But I won’t say these things to you
I will be polite
Amicable when I clearly state the expectations
Re state them actually because you already knew
But you would draw this out as long as you could
so I will end it
You’re contract will not be renewed

easy target

I give it all up for you, boy

and I give it all up to you, man

You, I give all my patience to, kid

To you, little girl, I dare to bare myself

None of you see it

Do you think I really want to check that you did your homework right now?

I do not feel like giving you a speech about earning your keep.

I am tired of telling you to, better yet,making you talk to them about shit.

I am done standing next to you in a class and repeatedly telling you to do your work

And you, the mother of the child I am trying to help, I do not deserve your resentment simply because we are the same age

I am tired of you, and you, and you…all of you

 

From Dec 3, 2013

Life is beautiful

Write something happy damn it.
Something you can share.
The love for your children
that fills your heart
The freedom you feel
When you dance
The inspiration you feel
From the experience of others
The compassion that drives
Your pursuit
The dream
American, red, white, and blue
The music
That uplifts, transports, and heals
Stories, written and filmed
That touch your soul
Those wonderful things that
Make life worthwhile
Songs, photos, smiles, and stars
In the sky
Nature and all it’s beauty
Animals and plants
So beautiful all around
A friend, a laugh,
A helping hand

20140210-212852.jpg

Vitamin D

Feeling like a little battery and kinda like a cat
out here wearing all black
Soaking up the sun and filling in the cracks with its warmth and taking deep breaths
Feeling the hotness soak in to the tips of me
Effortlessly returning to the joys
of me
The memories and expressions that make me – me.
Writing about the positive for a change and it feels damn good
In a dark deep corner, a woman awaits the sound of the other shoe. I pray
and will her to stay at bay
Allow me to stay
in this enchanted land where I hear a birds song and a cricket at play
This land where the deer and bunnies scamper about
teaching their young how to survive. Where herbs are picked from the ground to nourish and heal.
A place so peaceful, a blue tailed lizard might venture out in our presence.
Enjoying the suns warmth at my leisure
and yes, I dare say it, Life is good!

20130929-104953.jpg

a hundred ___ for 10 days

I propose a challenge to all of you who wish to change your habits and develop healthier ones. I will of course participate and perhaps you could join me.

I will choose one simple exercise like a crunch, sit-up, squat, push-up, pull-up, etc and do that one exercise 100 times each day.

I played around with this idea yesterday. But instead I split it and chose two exercises which I did about 50 of. I have a “perfect pull-up” so I utilized that to do an easier type of pull-up, and I used my big exercise ball to do what I call “center, left, right” which is a triple crunch in each named direction. I accomplished 42 triple crunch things and 50 easy pull-ups.

So what did I conclude from my little experiment yesterday you ask? For one, my abs and shoulders are sore today, so I will vary the hundred a day challenge to vary between arms, upper-body, ab, leg, back, etc.  exercises in order not to work the same area two days in a row.

To make it do-able I will split up the 100 throughout the day in order that the repetitions are manageable, yet effective.

Wish me luck and please join me if you like