At 3:16 pm I mentioned his name
About the Xbox and watching that show,
with his sister
3/16 is his birthday
It’s 3:17 pm now
It’s her birthday
My St Pattys day baby
the twin souls
Of a Gemini mom
Born five years and a day apart
The kind of day that’s split and off kilter
My morning broken down at home, where all I did was work.
To school I go to work.
The homicidal and suicidal words spoken by the youth I hear impresses upon me in an eternal way.
Anger, pain, anxiousness, and sadness are handed to me in pieces as I attempt to help the babies put their puzzles back together
There’s a sick kid I must lay my own eyes, hands, and voice upon at home.
I need emotional support that I feel none of them are strong enough to give.
Off I go to be a master.
I cry in the car when suddenly, there’s a Jeep Wrangler blazing in flames on the side of the road.
The universe placed me in Group Counseling class this night and I shared that there was no material thing I’d run back in the burning house for.
And upon my return home, my two answered the same.
I take their breath away
They bare all their teeth for me
Bless me with heartfelt thoughts of kindness
Share romance through profound poetry
Go the extra mile
Let me have it for free
Ask for my prayers
Longingly look into my eyes
Steal a touch
Provide a “hook up”
dance theater closes
The boy has a fetish
The girl has a boyfriend
No babies left here
His future is unclear
Her precarious age, troublesome, it is
I’m feeling confident however
About myself for a change!
Finally this 33rd year
But reassured at the same time
Will do its job and teach us all
The best way to get along
Through love, laughs, and trust
I hope and I pray
This time of change
Will bring better days
Stepped into a time machine
Looking for cd’s to listen to
While I clean my room
Remember listening to records and
Smile and dance to my mad skills
Of selecting tunes to flow to
To daily function
Music is life
Never quite loud enough
Blasting through this afternoon
Actin like I could sing or something
Being grateful for my man and their dad
Love is in the air
And Soul II Soul
Brings me back to life
I Accept love and the sunny day
In the time of a blink
A happy thought
All the laughs and love
As fleeting as a swirl of air
Or a warm scent
Intoxicated and well fed
Missing you before you’re even gone
I hope you return soon
It’s a book someone read
A term I picked up
Anxiety builds up
Kiddie gloves I endure for you
do not soothe my nerves
As they are not for my benefit
I’ve finally come to the place where I draw the line
You are inconsiderate
And you’re not my problem
I’m not responsible for you
I don’t owe you anything
But I won’t say these things to you
I will be polite
Amicable when I clearly state the expectations
Re state them actually because you already knew
But you would draw this out as long as you could
so I will end it
You’re contract will not be renewed
I give it all up for you, boy
and I give it all up to you, man
You, I give all my patience to, kid
To you, little girl, I dare to bare myself
None of you see it
Do you think I really want to check that you did your homework right now?
I do not feel like giving you a speech about earning your keep.
I am tired of telling you to, better yet,making you talk to them about shit.
I am done standing next to you in a class and repeatedly telling you to do your work
And you, the mother of the child I am trying to help, I do not deserve your resentment simply because we are the same age
I am tired of you, and you, and you…all of you
From Dec 3, 2013
Write something happy damn it.
Something you can share.
The love for your children
that fills your heart
The freedom you feel
When you dance
The inspiration you feel
From the experience of others
The compassion that drives
American, red, white, and blue
That uplifts, transports, and heals
Stories, written and filmed
That touch your soul
Those wonderful things that
Make life worthwhile
Songs, photos, smiles, and stars
In the sky
Nature and all it’s beauty
Animals and plants
So beautiful all around
A friend, a laugh,
A helping hand
Feeling like a little battery and kinda like a cat
out here wearing all black
Soaking up the sun and filling in the cracks with its warmth and taking deep breaths
Feeling the hotness soak in to the tips of me
Effortlessly returning to the joys
The memories and expressions that make me – me.
Writing about the positive for a change and it feels damn good
In a dark deep corner, a woman awaits the sound of the other shoe. I pray
and will her to stay at bay
Allow me to stay
in this enchanted land where I hear a birds song and a cricket at play
This land where the deer and bunnies scamper about
teaching their young how to survive. Where herbs are picked from the ground to nourish and heal.
A place so peaceful, a blue tailed lizard might venture out in our presence.
Enjoying the suns warmth at my leisure
and yes, I dare say it, Life is good!